[18] Command of the Message: How to Sell Like You Mean It
Picture this: you’re in a first discovery call with a new prospect, heart rate only slightly above “normal human conversation” level. You’re nailing the small talk, keeping it light, and then—boom—the dreaded moment arrives. They ask:
“So… what exactly do you do?”
And suddenly, you’re word-vomiting product features like an over-caffeinated robot. You hear yourself say things like “robust integrations” and “scalable architecture” and think, Wow, I sound like the PowerPoint version of myself.
We’ve all been there.
That, my friend, is what happens when we lose command of the message.
Because here’s the truth: you can’t confidently sell what you can’t clearly say.
And clarity doesn’t come from memorizing your company’s value prop slide. It comes from owning your story, your customer’s pain, and the problem you solve—in your own words, not the ones your marketing team buried in a 47-slide deck.
So today, we’re going to talk about how to sell like you mean it — even if you’re new, nervous, or learning an entirely new industry. (Hi, yes, I’m right there with you.)
What the Heck Is “Command of the Message”?
Let’s strip the jargon down first.
“Command of the Message” isn’t about memorizing the corporate talking points or saying what you think your boss wants to hear. It’s about understanding your customer’s world well enough that you can explain your value in a way that actually lands.
You know that feeling when you explain something to your best friend and they go, “Ohhh, now I get it”? That’s Command of the Message.
It’s what happens when your words click. When your buyer feels seen. When they realize you’re not just another rep trying to “circle back on alignment.”
It’s the difference between:
“We provide a data-driven, scalable infrastructure for workflow optimization.”
and:
“We help teams waste less time chasing data so they can actually do their jobs.”
Guess which one gets a reply.
Command of the Message means you:
Know what you solve.
Understand why it matters.
Can say it in plain English (preferably without making yourself cringe).
The Confidence Gap — Why We Undersell Ourselves
Let’s get real for a second.
As women in sales, we’ve been trained to be polite, agreeable, and likable. That’s great for brunch. But when you’re in a negotiation or value conversation? It’s a disaster.
We soften our tone. We downplay our impact. We say things like, “Does that make sense?” after delivering a perfectly valid point — as if we need permission to sound smart.
Stop that.
Because here’s the deal: your buyer is lucky to talk to you. You’re the one helping them make a decision that could actually fix their problem.
If you can’t stand tall in your value, your message will never land.
Confidence doesn’t come from “faking it till you make it.” It comes from clarity. From knowing your proof points. From being able to say, with zero hesitation:
“Here’s how we helped another customer like you, and here’s what it meant for their business.”
That’s not arrogance. That’s data with lipstick.
So, if you’re feeling unsure this week — or maybe you’re in a brand-new role, learning a new product (hi, I see you starting fresh in a technical space and Googling acronyms during meetings) — take a breath. You don’t need to know everything. You just need to know enough to connect the dots.
The Message Map — How to Actually Take Control
Here’s where we bring Monday’s message into play.
Remember our theme from Monday: “You’re Not Lucky — You’re Good.”
When you’re starting something new — whether it’s a new job, new role, or new product line — it’s easy to feel like you’ve been dropped into a foreign language class without subtitles.
The good news? You don’t need to be fluent in jargon to sell effectively. You already know how to listen, ask great questions, and connect the dots. That’s the real skill.
When you’re unsure, lean back on what you know — not what you don’t.
Let’s walk through a simple Message Map to help you keep your composure (and your paycheck) intact.
Here’s how to map your message — even when you’re new:
1️⃣ Start With Pain Forget the product features for a second. Focus on what’s keeping your buyer up at night. If they’re not squirming a little, you’re not digging deep enough. Ask:
“What’s been hardest about fixing this problem?”
“What happens if it doesn’t get solved this quarter?”
Pain is where urgency lives.
2️⃣ Attach Value Now that you understand the pain, connect it to something tangible.
“We help teams shorten their sales cycle by 20% without adding new headcount.”
“We reduce customer churn by helping reps stay proactive, not reactive.”
If it doesn’t make your buyer say, “I need that,” rework it.
3️⃣ Keep It Simple Your job is to make complex things sound easy, not the other way around.
You don’t have to sound like a PhD in whatever your product does. In fact, sometimes being new helps — you explain it in human terms, not insider jargon.
4️⃣ Practice (Yes, Out Loud) If you’re not saying your value prop out loud, you don’t own it yet. Record yourself. Or, my personal favorite, say it to your dog.
Dogs are great listeners — and brutally honest. If your golden retriever walks away mid-pitch, tighten your message.My great dane was the best customer, I miss him tilting his head to the side while I pitch him our most recent launch.
Command ≠ Control Freak
Let’s clear something up: commanding your message isn’t about controlling the conversation. It’s about guiding it.
Sales isn’t a monologue — it’s a duet.
There’s a fine line between being confident and coming off like you’re auditioning for The Wolf of Wall Street 2: Zoom Edition. If you’re doing all the talking, you’re not selling; you’re performing.
The best sellers command their message by:
Asking smart, layered questions.
Listening for what’s not being said.
Mirroring back insights in the buyer’s language.
When you master that, you’re not just delivering a message — you’re owning the room.
Command of the Message isn’t about sounding powerful; it’s about making the buyer feel understood. That’s where trust — and deals — live.
A Real Example (Because Proof Beats Theory)
Let me tell you about a rep I worked with — we’ll call her “Jess.” Jess was new to SaaS sales after years in retail. Smart, sharp, total people person — but she was terrified of not sounding technical enough.
Her first few calls? Painful. She overcompensated with jargon, speed-talked through features, and got flustered the second a prospect asked, “Can you integrate with XYZ system?”
We sat down and did one thing: stripped it back to value.
“What problem do we solve?”
“How does the customer’s world change after using us?”
Once she could explain that in one sentence — “We help teams close deals faster by automating the boring admin work” — she stopped worrying about sounding smart.
Her confidence came back. Her deals followed.
Now she’s leading the leaderboard. Not because she became a tech genius, but because she commanded her message.
The Confidence Loop — Why Clarity Creates Power
Command of the Message isn’t just a skill — it’s a confidence engine.
Every time you articulate value clearly, your prospect responds differently. You see that shift in their tone, that nod of understanding — and boom, your confidence builds. That confidence feeds your delivery, which sharpens your clarity.
It’s a beautiful loop.
But here’s the secret sauce: you can’t fake it.
You can fake enthusiasm, humor, or even expertise for a little while. But clarity? No shot.
You either understand your buyer’s world or you don’t. And if you don’t yet — listen harder. Ask better questions. Get curious.
Your message becomes powerful when it’s their story told through your solution.
The Mic-Drop Moment
Here’s your Week 1 mantra, straight from Deals in Heels HQ:
“Own your message, and you’ll own your market.”
Confidence doesn’t come from knowing everything — it comes from knowing yourself and the value you bring.
So if you’re new, nervous, or knee-deep in acronyms that sound like secret codes — breathe.
You’re not behind. You’re just building clarity.
And clarity, my friend, is contagious.
Say your message out loud. Refine it. Laugh at it. Repeat it until you mean it.Then watch what happens when you walk into a call not just knowing your worth — but commanding it.